So, here's a thing you can track on the internet now: pizza traffic near the Pentagon. On Monday, an account dedicated to this very niche pursuit drew attention by reporting that the Papa John's closest to the Pentagon was experiencing "higher than usual" traffic for several hours, from the early afternoon into the evening.
The account, called the Pentagon Pizza Report, posts updates on X, monitoring Google Maps' "popular times" data at pizzerias near major military installations. The operating theory is simple, if a bit conspiratorial: spikes in late-day or late-night food orders might signal that officials are pulling extended hours because something big is happening in the world.
At one point, the report noted that two of the closest pizzerias to the Pentagon were showing "above average traffic."
This revives the so-called "Pentagon Pizza" theory, which has been floating around online for a couple of years. It's the idea that food delivery patterns can serve as informal, real-time indicators of military activity. Proponents point to instances like last year, when the account flagged elevated pizza traffic hours before news broke of an Israeli strike on Iran, fueling speculation that leaders were monitoring developments.
There is, of course, no official confirmation that the number of pepperoni pizzas ordered has any correlation with defense operations. But the theory got an unexpected endorsement—or at least an acknowledgment—from the top last fall.
In October, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was asked about the account during an appearance on Fox News. His response was playful. "I've thought of just ordering lots of pizza on random nights just to throw everybody off," Hegseth said. "Some Friday night, when you see a bunch of Domino's orders, it might just be me on an app."
It's the kind of joke that makes you wonder if he's kidding or giving away the game. Either way, it adds a layer of cheeky legitimacy to the whole oddball premise.
Meanwhile, in a possibly related but more concrete development, shares of Papa John's International Inc. (PZZA) gained 3.70% on Monday, according to market data. Whether that surge was driven by geopolitical speculation, a sudden national craving for pizza, or just normal market movements is, much like the theory itself, open to interpretation.
